@isabellemorgan: lol shit


@isabellemorgan; i’ve come to the conclusion that a world without piperofthevalleys is a world that i do not want to live in xx

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I’m going to help you rediscover your manhood. Do you have any idea where you could have lost it?


I missed your friendly face around here. But you’re back so now you can catch up on everything and get back in the game and give us a lot of attention. I have been good. There have been a few struggles but I think it’s going good now. How are you feeling?


You’re right, I’m back and so happy to be here, honestly. I missed you guys too much. It’s a bit unhealthy, actually. Good? Good! As long as everything’s good for you now. I’m feeling okay. I’ve seen better days, but I’ve seen much worse days as well. I’m just happy to be around you guys, yanno? What’s been going on with ya lately? Catch me up on Niall’s life. image


He was fucking terrifying! I swear to god, every time he entered the room and I was there, he just glared at me and ignored me and talked to you. Fucking Hugh and his fucking height. Honestly, the house wasn’t the same without you—I was pretty much with you everyday, but I’m glad to have you back here.


He wasn’t scary at all! You were just more than likely being a little shit. He was like an oversized teddy bear, alright. Be nice about it. I liked him more than Anna. I’m glad to be back here, too— and I’m sorry you had to go through that again. And I’m sorry that I didn’t wake up. And I’m just— I’m sorry that happened. image


You know, I actually miss the indecency sometimes. Remember Cancun? Cancun was a good one. Especially that last night on the beach. At least you never stepped on one. I stepped on one once and found another one stuck to the shower wall the second time. True, but it’s different when I see you like this. You’ve got a glow in your face again. I’m pretty sure Alex has claimed the game room and hides out in it like the hermit he is, so thats not an option. Everyone’s always raiding the kitchen, so that’s off the table too. The theatre room…well, girls tend to hide out in that room too so someone already beat you to it. I would take you to the shag pad, but that place is nasty when it’s been used one too many times by different people.


How could I forget Cancun? I’m surprised you remember it, honestly. You were hardly there for Cancun. Harry— shut up about used condoms. For the love of god don’t talk about them. I can feel my stomach churning. A glow in my face, huh? Yeah, that’s because I’m actually a part of the next X-Men project. They injected me with glowing radioactive toxic waste, and I’m actually superhuman. Glowing is a side effect. Ah, you underestimate my ability to take the things I want. The shag pad? Don’t get me started on that disease ridden room. I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever stepped foot in any shag pad of any season ever. I refuse to. I’ll just kick Alex out of the game room, honestly. That or I’ll snag the theater room at it’s emptiest and force everyone out. I’m not about to camp out in a dull bedroom. I’ve had enough of the white-walls shit in the past two weeks. image


It takes a bit more than what we’ve had here to get rid of me, darling. You sure? Shots are probably one of the better inventions in this godforsaken life. Really? What’d they give you? We’re glad to have you back, anyhow. At least, I know I am.

Oh for the love of all things good in this world, please don’t call me darling. It makes me think of Wendy Darling. Oh, I’ve got a year’s worth of enough medicine to get this entire house hopped up on something. It’s ridiculous. I can’t even name it all off really— mostly because I don’t remember. They told Alex what they were putting me on and I was just kind of there. I’m happy to be back, honestly? How’ve you been, Bradshaw? 


Then at least it’s good that you’re in recovery, needles freak the shit out of me — so I hope you were better with them, than myself. I’m actually really good, so other than being hooked up to needles and shit, have you accomplished doing anything? Like binge watching a show?


Ah, needles aren’t all that bad. How in the hell do you have so many damn tattoos if needles freak you out, Zayn? Binge watching a show— hm, I did sit through hours and hours of movies. I’m more of a movie person, honestly. I think I watched a solid 72 hours worth of movies, if not more. image


Reasons he won’t share to protect his Bond girl. You are very lucky, Morgan— surviving the wreck, coming back to the house surprisingly even more beautiful than before, and talking to me? You really do have it all, Isabelle. No, I assure you I am your James Bond, he saves his girls from perilous danger too, much like the knight. You sure about that? Nothing less than Hugo Boss.image

I don’t need to be protected, Brennan— though I don’t mind the idea of someone looking out for me like that. Oh yeah, because talking to you is such a privilege. I think we both know that though I am extremely lucky, you’re probably a bit luckier that I’ve been giving you the time of day lately. It’s a rare thing. Cherish that. I’m a lot of things, Matt— but a damsel in distress? Not me. Ah, good. That’s what I like to hear. image